I wake up, groaning, in a 35-degree lodge, my stomach in spasms, and my head pounding at an altitude of nearly 14,000 feet, a good week into the Everest Base Camp trek in Nepal. How am I going to do this today, I wonder? Teeth chattering, I dress and stumble out to the small dining room, thinking about how I can tell the guide I can’t possibly go up another 1000 feet or more this morning. And then a guy from Alaska pushes a bowl of warm oatmeal and a mug of coffee at me and gently encourages me to eat. A young woman leaves her mom’s side as we get up from the table and commiserates about my cramps, and our guide slaps me five as we gingerly step into a snowy, misty morning. You’re looking good, Miss Lexie – ready to go? And indeed, there I went, held up by people I didn’t even know when I landed in Kathmandu two weeks before.
Tramping across this Earth has been one of the highlights of my life and, more often than not, I have been introduced to new lands in the company of strangers. Even when I have set off with family members or existing friends, I have collected what I always call “my hiking friends,” people I’ve met on the trail who become fast friends for as long as the trek lasts, and sometimes longer.
On rare occasions, those people become real friends, and some have joined me on future walks. While others do eventually slip away and become simply holiday card recipients or pleasant memories, there is a small circle of us, including a few guides, who will always be connected long after we left the pathways.
My husband and kids tease me about my hiking friends, wondering how I can become so attached to people with whom I have spent a mere week or two. But a week of post-hike beers and dinners gives friendship formation a power boost, and believe me, three days in camps with no showers and one toilet tent creates an intimacy one rarely experiences with friends at home! In a matter of days, we think nothing of sharing our trail food or embarrassing stories, and we take care of each other in ways that belie the brief life of our relationship.
Every step of the budding bond is accelerated when we spend our waking hours chatting on a tough mountain track and our evenings sharing meals, pains, and more life stories. Most of us are in the early-impressions phase of trying to be agreeable and supportive, and friendship blooms quickly and easily with those who are open to it.
In the last decade, I have met my Nepal hiking friends for a ski trip in Utah and reunited with them on the Paine Circuit in Chile, hosted my Tanzanian guide in our home in Chicago, gone back to Peru and linked up with my Inca Trail guides again for some smaller walks on my own, and recently had another Himalayan hiking friend over for dinner here in Houston. They may not be my everyday pals, but my hiking friends and I have a singular connection that I cannot share with anyone else, and my life is richer for them.
Tina Schell said:
I agree whole-heartedly that a shared experience can build a strong foundation for a life-long friendship. Especially if the experience was a real challenge. Great you’re still in touch with so many of the Lex.
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lexklein said:
Thanks, Tina. I think you’re right that the challenges are what tightens the bonds so quickly. Kind of a we’re-all-in-this-together thing!
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Sue Slaght said:
That’s marvellous Lexie. It seems from my own experience that the sharing of an experience that is challenging is very bonding. You have done so many astounding treks! I had always thought I wanted to trek to the base camp of Nepal. Following our altitude challenges in Peru I became far less enthused.
Hike on Lexie! Amazing!
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lexklein said:
Thanks, Sue! And you have done so many astounding scary things – haha! I loved that little sit you had in Angel’s Pool and many of your other adventures. So far – knock on wood – I have not experienced many problems with altitude. I even slept at about 18,000 feet one night in Tibet! Hike on, I shall!
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Anna said:
Love this! I think going through the ‘hardship’ of a tough hike really does bond you to the people you are with. I love my hiking friends too!
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lexklein said:
I agree. And something about being out in nature opens us up to new people, too, I think.
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Anna said:
Btw, may I ask how old you were when you did the EBC? It’s my dream, but with a 5 year old I’m going to have to wait a while. I hope I’ll be fit enough in the future! Cheers x
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lexklein said:
OKKKKKK … I am going to now broadcast my approximate age all over WordPress! Haha – seriously, I began to hike longer and more difficult trails as I got OLDER. I think some level of maturity and patience (and of course, having the kids already somewhat grown) was helpful to me in having the endurance to do these kinds of hikes. When my oldest turned 18, we started with the Inca Trail, so I was well into my 40s. By the time I did the EBC trail, I was a decade farther along! I was an athlete as a young person, so I just stayed in decent (not spectacular) shape over the years, and all of this has been quite doable. Most of the long hikes in the world are not technically difficult or meant to be sprints, so if you have the drive to finish and some level of fitness, it’s all possible! When my kids were 5, I was doing nothing like this, so take heart!
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Mabel Kwong said:
So many friends, and this was such a heartwarming post. Everyone’s journey is each other’s – the wild’s out there and no one knows what that is, and the least they can do is stick together. Really sounded so enriching for you and your fellow hikers. Meeting up again must also be a nice feeling – picking up where you left off like it was yesterday 😊
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lexklein said:
It’s actually weird to meet up in “normal” life with people you know from a trail! We are used to seeing each other in crummy hiking clothes, hats, and boots, so it can be a bit jarring to see someone in street clothes with nice, clean hair! Very, very fun, though.
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Alison and Don said:
I know just what you mean about the intimacy that develops. and so quickly when you’re travelling together in some amount of hardship. I travelled overland from Johannesburg to London the year I turned 30. There were 12 of us, it took four months, and we camped every night. It was pretty rough travelling but so energizing. We talked endlessly of food. And what comes out the other end 🙂
Alison
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lexklein said:
Four straight months of camping – can’t imagine it, and I’m a pretty happy camper. As for the discussion topics, I’ve always found it quite interesting how quickly strangers start taking about bathroom habits while on the trail! Your trip sounds life-changing and wonderful.
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leggypeggy said:
Excellent post. Know exactly what you mean. We feel the same about our overlanding friends.
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lexklein said:
I bet you do! Do you ever reconnect with people you’ve met in one place either months or years later somewhere else?
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leggypeggy said:
We sure do. Have just caught up with friends we travelled with in Africa in 2009, and are catching up now in Belgium with people we’ve known since 2000 and 2003.
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lexklein said:
That’s awesome! It’s so fun to have people you know all over the world – enjoy your time with old friends!
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Green Global Trek said:
Lexie this is such a great post. I love the immediate and strong type of connection one can have with other travellers, hikers by sharing an experience especially an experience with challenges etc. It is a tribute to the different types of friendships one can have and the richness that comes from the variety!
Peta
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lexklein said:
So true about the immediacy of friendship-making in those circumstances. People I may be wary of or slow to get to know in my day-to-day life become friends quickly – probably because we need to do that in order to keep things pleasant in close quarters and company!
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J.D. Riso said:
Traveling a road together forms a bond, that’s for sure. I haven’t gone on any organized hiking trips with strangers, but I still keep in touch with a few of my Namibia and North Korea companions. We may not have hiked together (except up Big Daddy in Sossusvlei), but the experiences were intense in their own way. That’s great you have kept in touch with so many and even had reunions. Wow! I love the photos.
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lexklein said:
Your group experiences have been in such out-of-the-norm places, so I’d imagine many of you are like-minded to begin with just to be there. Same with my hiking friends – closed-minded or rigid people don’t tend to take these trips, so there is already a common base from which friendship can start. Although I have reunited with a number of trekking buddies, the majority do fade away, which is fine. When a trip is done, I can pretty much guess who will stay in touch and who won’t.
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Jolandi Steven said:
I love his post, “Miss Lexie”. Isn’t it wonderful how hiking friends hold us up, when the going gets tough, and inspire us to find strength within we didn’t even know existed? I can totally relate to the precious gift hiking friends are, as I have spent many hours, and days with various beautiful souls walking next to, in front of, and behind me. They are just different from one’s other friends . . .
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lexklein said:
You said it all! I love my day-to-day friends and of course my family, but there is a special bond that forms with hiking companions. Writing this post reminded me that it’s been too long – I need to find a new trek soon!
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Jolandi Steven said:
Me too! I’m thinking about Japan . . .
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lexklein said:
Me, too – the Nakasendo! But that’ll have to wait a bit, I think – can’t get away for that long a time right now. Happy hike planning to you!
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Jolandi Steven said:
Yes! Thank you. Yip, I will dream and save so long. Happy dreaming to you too, Lex.
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Bama said:
It is true that we get some real friends from our travels. When I was in a remote island in eastern Indonesia, my travel buddy and I became really close with a German man and a Dutch woman. For a week, we explored some parts of the island and went to a nearby small island together. We climbed a volcano which seemed easy at first but turned out very challenging, snorkeled in waters rich in marine biodiversity, tasted the best banana smoothie ever, and sang some songs while dancing to it. This is a heartwarming post, Lex!
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lexklein said:
Thanks, Bama. Yours is perhaps a good example of the connection that can form between very different people while traveling. I know for a fact that some of my very favorite hiking friends might not be the people I’d gravitate toward at work or otherwise be in contact with at home, but out there in a strange place, I (we all?) are more open to others.
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tperders said:
You’re an inspiration Lex. I want to grow up to be like you.
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lexklein said:
Well, that made my morning! Don’t underestimate your own awesomeness – living abroad, seeking adventure, and being hysterically funny while doing it! 🙂
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Shelley @Travel-Stained said:
How wonderful that you’re still in touch with these friends from the road. It’s true that the connections you build while traveling together are unique and can be stronger than some of the longer friendships you have. Maybe because you’re discovering new things together, and like you said, it makes you more open and receptive in general. 🙂
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lexklein said:
I’m sometimes amazed that I’ve stayed in touch with some of these people! There are really only a few out of the many I’ve hiked with; no matter how close some of us got at the time, there are many who just don’t keep up the communication and things slowly die. A few are great, though, and they are the ones I still see and hear from!
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dave ply said:
I suppose some of it might be the challenge, but I suspect much of it is more a kindred spirits thing. Take the usual traveler’s comradery and push it up a notch on those more extreme hikes. Keep ’em coming.
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lexklein said:
I agree, Dave. People who choose to go out for many days to hike and live in relative discomfort already have something in common! I still find it amazing sometimes how quickly a closeness can form with complete strangers.
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twobrownfeet said:
Absolutely loved this post, Lex! For starters, it has ‘foot’ in the title. 🙂 We haven’t yet trekked extreme landscapes, but I can understand the bonds forged on tough trails. Some of my best friends (Basil included) have lost their hearts to the mountains. I’ve been a tad slow to follow. Your pictures are gorgeous and make me want to aim a little higher. 🙂
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lexklein said:
We both love those foot and feet references, right? 🙂 While you may be slow to follow, you have certainly jumped in with both …. feet! (I swear that wasn’t planned when I started that sentence.) Before you know it, you’ll be addicted like Basil and I.
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Curt Mekemson said:
I really like this Lexi. Many of my best friends over the years have come from trekking experiences! –Curt
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lexklein said:
You’ve certainly had your share of challenging experiences during some of your wild treks, so I’m not surprised that some close relationships have come out of those!
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Curt Mekemson said:
The difficulty of backpacking 100 miles over mountainous terrain in 9 days— even without any dramatic events, can create strong friendships, Lexi. –Curt
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Agness of Fit Travelling said:
Trekking is an awesome experience! Keep sharing your adventures, Lex!
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lexklein said:
Thanks! Trekking is pretty much my favorite thing on earth to do, so I can’t see stopping anytime soon!
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Liesbet said:
When you hike with others, you have time, place, scenery, awe-inspiring moments and a similar interest in common. When doing it as a group, most members are probably also quite social. These ingredients are perfect for making friends or acquaintances along the way. And, so much to talk about. 🙂 The fact that some of these friendships have lasted this long and have been rekindled as time progresses, makes your experiences very special. I am so happy for you about all these new and renewed friendships, Lexie. They are quite unique. Your photos and experiences are one of a kind! Happy trekking. I don’t think I could do it, especially at high altitudes. Can I catch my breath now? 🙂
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lexklein said:
You may catch your breath now! You are very right about all those factors that cause such strong bonds to be formed quickly. And I do also agree that it’s somewhat unique to maintain contact with a good number of hiking buddies. I am one of those people who gets attached quickly and easily to people, places, etc; I love staying in touch with people from all parts of my life, so I think I make a bigger effort than most.
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rommel said:
No question from me. I totally see it. Like-minded, shared passion, and with the thrills and challenges of the adventure you all take on. I’m sure that’s the kind of set up where you can easily, easily!, connect with people, and then stay that way even just through memories. Very nice post.
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lexklein said:
Thanks, Rommel! In your travels, you seem to stay put for longer periods of time … do you make good friends and then have trouble separating from them when you move on?
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rommel said:
Very nice of you to notice. After a bit while, I’ve gotten used to it. Actually I’ve learned it early. I can’t just be like ”oh this person will be out of my life anyway, why would I make friends with this person?”. I have to live the moment, still build some sort of relationships with people, and accept what tomorrow brings. So yeah, what you posted here is similar than mine. I dont mind short term friendships. Good thing there’s social network sites to keep in touch anyways. 🙂
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hiren said:
I really enjoy your blogs…
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lexklein said:
Thank you very much!
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lisadorenfest said:
I totally get it. Some of the closest friendships I’ve forged are with people that I’ve only shared an anchorage with for a few days. Loved the pictures of your hiking friends and look forward to seeing you out on the trail again soon.
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lexklein said:
Oh, I can’t wait to take another random group hike … but still can’t look ahead enough to know when that might be. 😦
I wonder if we bond more quickly with people we know we won’t have to work on a relationship with?! When you meet a new person in your own city, you know you might run into them often in the coming years, so you move a little more slowly and gauge things as you go. With an anchorage or a two-week hike, you know you’ll be rid of them soon (haha), so you go for broke – and end up either loving each other or feeling happy to just move along with no further connection!
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lisadorenfest said:
I think that is a great insight (on why we bond more quickly). That and the richness/intensity of the experience we are sharing (both the good and the bad parts 🙂 which yanks is out of our comfort zone where we have no choice but to be real.
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Madhu said:
I so agree! It is uncanny how we relate to total strangers sometimes. Many years ago, on a trip to Southern Spain, we connected with another, much older, American couple, and stayed in touch until they both passed away. I was moved to tears when their daughter wrote to tell us we were now family. Years later, we met a young Indian couple on their honeymoon on our cruise on the Nile. Our relationship with this younger couple promises to be just as special 🙂
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lexklein said:
It’s so interesting how we can become fast friends with people so different from ourselves in these situations. Like you, we have bonded with people much older and younger. One of our favorite couples was also on their honeymoon … imagine how they felt when they arrived and learned their co-trekkers were my husband and I (almost 2 decades older) and the five teenagers we hauled along with us?! Despite our age ranges, we all became quite attached after many days on the trail together.
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AndysWorldJourneys said:
ahhhh makes me wish i was fit enough to hike again!
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lexklein said:
The good thing about hiking is there are so many options – some are flatter and shorter, so get back on out there! 🙂
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Dyscover said:
Now I know who to ask for advice if I ever think of putting foot on any of these impressive trails (not likely at the moment; the spirit is more than willing but the flesh is so, so weak)
I guess the camaraderie that develops under undue pressure and strain lasts the longest. You’ve seen each other at your best and worst, what can be more unifying and humbling than that!
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lexklein said:
Oooooh, please ask me for advice! Haha – I just love talking about long hikes, my favorite topic (and activity) on earth. And you are exactly right about the origin of the strong bonds; at our humblest and most taxed, we need others more than ever.
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leahnotlia said:
One of my best friends I met hiking in rural Jordan about 6 months ago. After a month on the trail there we met up again in Colombia and then Rwanda for more adventures. Despite only knowing her a few months, she knows so much about me- the post-hike beers have certainly helped with that. I really identified with this article- thanks for sharing
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lexklein said:
You’ve done some serious globe criss-crossing in the last six months! It was so fun for me to reconnect in southern Chile with two people I met in Nepal, so I can only imagine your reunion with someone on two new continents! Wow. Hiking is such a chill activity, and in my experience, most everyone is down for a beer or two at the end of a long day, and that inevitably gets a conversation going!
(I tried to click on your name for a link to a blog – thinking you must have some good stories to tell – but there is nothing there. If you do still have a blog, send me a link if you want!)
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Untraveled Routes said:
Some experiences alter us for life 😊 I believe trekking and hiking is one of those life lessons ☺️☺️that one wants to experience again and again!!
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lexklein said:
I agree with you on both counts! Thanks for reading and commenting!
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LDG luciledegodoy said:
Having just read your post on the floods in your city, I thought of the paradoxical truth of human bonding and solidarity being forged quicker, if one is subject to extremely harmful or dangerous situations. People forget their ‘brand’ of nationality, gender, religion, social class, etc., and simply connect as people and help each other.
It’s sad that this doesn’t happen often in normal circumstances when people are afraid of each other. In the hazardous situations, they have a common outside fear, and that seems to lead to think collectively.
Well, I’m just rambling here. You made me think a little more for your post is very beautiful, and an example of the possibility to bond without being in danger. But as you said, it takes kindred souls to seek for adventure and explore the world, be open to let other people be part of it, and enjoy the experience together.
That speaks volumes about you.
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lexklein said:
So true (and sad in many ways) that bad times bring out more good in people. I have surely seen that here in Houston recently. (However, I must say that this city is one of the friendliest and least fearful of others I have lived in beyond the pulling together after Harvey hit.) I do also think the bonds of an adventure trip grow faster and deeper because off that external force of a little risk. So happy to see you dipping your toes back into the blogging waters!
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Fast Pam said:
Hiking friends are some of the best. I met a group of Indiana peeps hiking to Everest Base Camp! We text daily and see each other yearly in our home towns or on other trips (Cuba, Grand Canyon, Telluride) so much fun!
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lexklein said:
I met some of my best hiking buddies on the EBC trail also! I did that one on my own (but joined a group) and have now introduced my husband to these people and we, too, have gone on to other places like Patagonia, Deer Valley, etc). It’s an experience ripe for bonding if one is open to it; it’s been one of the joys of my active adulthood!
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Fast Pam said:
Agreed! It’s nice to have friends all over. The world seems to be a little bit smaller!
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