I’m struggling to define “local” these days. Life has been so unstable for the last nine months that we seem to have no local anything anymore. We are missing a whole lot of local, in fact: a local bar, a local grocery store, a local group of friends, even a local collection of all of our possessions. I like feeling like a local; I like to belong, I like habit, and I like to have regular places that I frequent.
Given my love for travel and always being on the move, this state of affairs should not have thrown me as it has. But having one foot out the door implies that the other one is planted somewhere, and it’s that solid base I’m missing. For 25 years, local has meant my home in a small village near Chicago, a place filled with independent stores where the shopkeepers knew my name and stocked things I asked for, an errand always turned into a chat, and everything I owned was in one place.
We are now bouncing from DC city apartment to Pennsylvania mountain getaway, minus the hiking shoes I left in the Midwest on the last trip “home.” I feel scattered, but (I swear) I’m trying hard to make my new location my idea of local.
My Local Metro
One Foot Out the Door 
I know this feeling well. Whenever we move I know I won’t have time enough to really feel ‘local’, but I usually can create a few pockets here and there and it makes all the difference.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Not to sound like the “grass is always greener” (especially in your case in Namibia – haha), but at least you have an adventure of being somewhere overseas and interesting. I think part of my problem in adjusting is I’ve never really cared for Washington for some reason. I sound like a big mope, but really I AM creating little pockets here that feel a little more homey – our street, out little apartment, one wonderful hardware store, etc. Thanks for your comment!
LikeLike
hahaha!!! grass is greener!!! (wiping tears from my eyes)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pingback: Local: Byfords Holt | What's (in) the picture?
It just takes a while to get to feel at home in a place, especially when it sounds like you have three places. And it sounds like you left a lot behind. Before we became nomadic I still moved quite frequently over the course of my adult life, and always found that it took two years in a new place to begin to feel really at home. You’re nearly half way there!
Alison
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks for the encouragement, Alison! We plan to get rid of our “real house” soon; we had to wait until we knew if the job was more permanent or just one year, so that has been a drag on our finances and our minds (almost everything is there – a 12-hour drive away – sigh). It is still “home” – and that is making this adjustment more difficult in every way. I am feeling more rooted here these days. Having my own new job helps, and I am starting to feel the street outside is MY street, etc.
LikeLiked by 2 people
So glad to hear things are slowly settling for you. It’s a huge change, with a lot to grieve by the sound of it.
A.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love this over the train tracks shot. The subway looks endless, full of possibilities as you hurtle from from destination to the next. Sounds like every bit the traveling and jet setting life you lead, and it does sound unsettling. Sometimes we need that familiar comfort of knowing that we have something to fall back on, something or somewhere to put our feet up and know that to some degree that things will be okay. I see on your sidebar you’re heading to Ghana next. Wishing you well on that trip. Currently for myself I don’t have any plans for travels abroad. Enjoying time around my locals 🙂 Have fun 😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
I have latched onto your comment that the photo I chose shows endless possibilities – maybe a subconscious sign that I am ready to move on! Thanks, my psychotherapist! I wish I could call all the back-and-forth travel jet setting, but it’s more like multi-hour trips in a car with a dog! My fun travel has fallen a bit by the wayside with the move and a new job, unfortunately. Still, I am lucky to have been able to keep the old house until we know our plans for sure and to have a small childhood home only a few hours away when I need to escape the city. (P.S. Can’t make the Ghana trip 😦 not enough days to justify it right now … I’d better change my sidebar!)
LikeLike
I’m sure those car trips are and can be fun! I do like the journey traveling to a place. You know, looking out the window and watching the world change as you move. It happens faster that you often think 🙂 Oh no, no Ghana trip. Sad face indeed 😦 Maybe another time. Meantime, you can take a trip away closer to where you are 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love your upbeat, positive spirit! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m with Mabel on loving the train tracks shot. And, I remember all too well the feeling of being uprooted when we were transferred to Atlanta years ago (and repeating “I am willing to change” and other affirmations to get myself in the mode of moving forward, not to mention many trips back “home” to the midwest to take care of the house that hadn’t sold yet). I hope you’re loving your new roots soon — Sandy
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Sandy – I can use all the encouragement and ‘been there-done that’ advice I can get! I’m such a wanderer, so this feeling of being uprooted seems odd to me, but I guess wandering was fun because I had a stable place to return to all those years. Do you still miss your old home, or are you totally and successfully transplanted now?!
LikeLike
I’ve been moving my entire life. At the age of 1.5 years my parents moved to a city on a different island almost 400 miles away from where I was born; when I was 5 years old my parents moved to a small city on another island more than 700 miles away; six years later they moved again, this time to a bigger city, also more than 700 miles away; then I went to a university three hours away by bus from that city and lived there for five years; and now I’ve been living in Jakarta for more than eight years. Every time people ask me where I’m from, I always ask them back whether they want a long or short answer. Sometimes I do wonder where I actually belong. But now Jakarta really grows on me.
What you feel is very normal, Lex. What you need is more time to settle in, explore your new neighborhood, get lost in the city sometimes, meet the ‘right’ people, and what felt foreign will soon become your local.
LikeLiked by 2 people
You are absolutely right, Bama. Even in the last month, I’ve felt a shift in my thinking. I guess I expected it to happen right away and that I’d just fall right into a new place with no bumps along the way. I’m also slowly learning what I do and don’t like and am working hard to spend time on the positive stuff!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Understand your feelings completely. Local to me means the place we moved away from 12 years ago.
Lovely tunnel photo. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for the photo compliment and hope you are happy in your new(ish!) place!
LikeLike
Sounds like a pretty erratic life Lexi, hope it’s not something you’ll keep on doing, and I hope you’ll be able to return to the village!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Fabrizio. It’s funny because I thought I liked erratic. I guess I only liked it when there was something stable in the background! We are slowly coming to grips with letting go of the old and just embracing fully the new … we’ll see how that goes! (P.S. Slowly chugging through the shipping book – fascinating! I’m alternating with another book so I’m being a bit slow.)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Chugging is the right word! 🙂 Good luck with all the changes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve been pretty lucky about the local thing, after the first couple years of my adult life I haven’t moved much. Maybe I’m a little too comfortable, it’s easy to while away the days without thinking of new adventures. But it’s those new adventures that give life spice. Hope you find your comfort zone in DC.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Dave. The dumbest thing is for the last few of those (blissful in hindsight) many years in our old home, I kept saying we were stagnating and that I wished we could change things up and try something new. I got what I wished for … sort of!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very astute observation Lex, about the role of “local” in achieving some kind of grounding even for the most nomadic ones among us. Our solution for this, wherever we decide to spend time and create a new local, centers around choosing firstly, a place to get fresh fruit and or juices, a place to get cappuccino, a yoga studio to join or a favorite walk and a place to get a newspaper. For us, that combo of factors instantly creates a first anchor of “local”. The rest always seems to flow easily from there.
I completely relate to and get what you are saying. I think sometimes we lovers of travel need to slow down a bit and just by adjusting the pace, the rest comes rather naturally. Sounds like you do have two pretty good home bases to work with!
In Washington DC, where Ben has lived multiple times, one of our favorite spots that we return to over and over again, is Dumbarton Oaks in Georgetown. Without a doubt the most beautiful garden to spend time in.
Peta
LikeLiked by 1 person
Peta, first of all, I love your small rituals that kickstart a feeling of being a local. I have a few of my own, but the rest has not flowed quite as smoothly as I’d like! Second, I read your last paragraph to my husband, who has been extolling the virtues of Dumbarton Oaks for YEARS and would you believe, we still have not gone there since we moved here. He went to Georgetown and used the garden there as a place to chill out when stressed. So, this weekend, I’m there! Thanks!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh that just makes me smile a huge smile……you are going to LOVE it! It definitely was our chill out place. We once stayed there so long that we did not realise they had closed and it took a while before they realised we were still there and were about to be “locked in” for the night…not that we would have minded. I love the wilder sections at the edges of the property and down at the bottom too.
Peta
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thought of you today, Peta, when we went to Dumbarton Oaks on a stunning fall day and spent lots of time just ambling around the incredible gardens. I can see why you and Ben returned over and over again. We are ready to go back next weekend!
LikeLike
You’ll be right at home in NO time Lex – you’re a master mover!!!! Good luck, love your shot.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Tina. I hope you’re right – this has been the toughest one! Interestingly, I think writing it down and reading all these responses has been a big help, at least in knowing that I’m not too unusual.
LikeLike
I greatly sympathize Lexie as I have always loved to be in one place, surrounded by my sister’s who all live quite close by. Although I love to travel, can never wait to return home. I have faith you will find your way. Remember, home is where the heart is.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Kathy, the one really good thing that has come from this move is that I am much closer to 2 of my 3 siblings now. I was also closer to my parents this summer when they came north, so I got to see them almost weekly. My siblings and I all built lives across the country, and now our kids all live far away, too, so I have not ever really had that wonderful situation of being near lots of family. You are very lucky to have that!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beautiful shot
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks! Just saw your local shots – like you, I am living amidst very urban scenes, so I thought the metro was as good as any when it came to depicting my local area.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very true … and architecture can be very beautiful
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hopefully you will find your local spirit soon. I’ve moved around so much, but surprisingly it doesn’t take long to feel comfortable in a new place. But maybe it’s because I feel at home not feeling local. Very cool metro shot.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hear you on all that and largely feel the same – that’s why I’m so confused about my resistance and/or struggle this time. I think I’m done whining now, though. 🙂 (Looking forward to Easter Island glimpses!)
LikeLike
Do you think you will stay for awhile Lexi? I can only imagine how hard it is. When we left Chicago years ago we left all our friends and even now 16 years later have not made the same kind of friendships in Minneapolis. It is different. I also find it harder the older you get. I am like you, love to travel but love to have my local base.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s looking more and more like we may stay another year. Today we looked at apartments that are bigger with more green space (and farther out), but then we’d be starting over AGAIN in many ways! We may have to just form the attachments we can, work harder to meet people, and find our local spots right where we are. And yes, so much harder as we get older, especially without the kid connections!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It sounds like you have 3 feet planted in different places. No wonder you are confused. 😉 But seriously, I can only imagine how disconcerting it is to try to make a new “home,” when you were perfectly happy with your old “home.” And the fact that your belongings are scattered all over the country probably isn’t helping. When we’re on the road, it’s the one thing I miss of home…the fact that everything is in one place. It contributes more to a feeling of being settled than we give it credit for. I hope you get more grounded soon.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Shelley. The funny thing is that I was on such a mission before we even contemplated moving to clean out my house, divesting myself of all sorts of accumulated stuff. I thought it would be fantastic to move to a tiny place with no space for things. Now I think I need a happy medium! Clean and uncluttered, but all the things I regularly need. My goal is to rearrange enough here in DC to be able to at least bring all my shoes and clothes back here after Christmas!
LikeLike
Hope you feel settled in soon! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks! I’m getting there, slowly but surely!
LikeLike
Hi Lex, Your terrific image tells your story– you’ll settle soon. Good luck with it all!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Jane. The power of community (even if online!): I am actually feeling better just reading people’s comments! We also looked around to see if a different apartment might make a difference and both days after searching we returned feeling like our little place really was “home”!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is nice to have a place to return to, friends to see, a place to anchor you, even if on the road. I bet you find your niche.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for the confidence, Jeff! I think we will soon feel anchored even here.
LikeLike
Lex, I can truly relate with this post on many levels. Having shifted here (Seoul), it’s been an interesting journey of self discovery. And like you, I didn’t think it would be difficult. We’d been travelling, exploring new places, and I have lived in two different countries before. After college, I kept shifting ‘homes’, another city or suburb in the same city that I lived. I guess for me local is more a feeling. A place where I can belong. And in a strange way, I lost that feeling a long time back. I don’t know where I truly belong. I feel ‘at home’ with nature. It’s the place where I can be me. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, I know you can relate, Cheryl! I love your idea of all of nature as your home. I feel that way, too, when I walk into a dense woods, or along a stream, or somewhere else in nature … maybe I should adopt your definition. Meanwhile, we truly are making little connections here, which helps, and many people have said it really takes a few years to feel fully ensconced in a place. So we’ll just keep plugging away!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Remind me of the plan? I’m a little out of touch these days. Related to a job move?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Jo, we moved from Chicago to Washington, DC last spring when my husband took what we thought was a one-year assignment. Now it appears we will stay on for at least another year, so it’s probably time to cut ties to our house and other things in Chicago. It’s been tough to settle in here (very small place, few friends, etc) and now the idea of selling the Chicago house and being even more rootless feels a little scary. But we will be fine! There are so many worse situations, and we know that. 🙂
LikeLike
You would think that Washington DC might be a lively hub, but that’s obviously not the case for you. I’ve always rather fancied Chicago and only the cherry blossom appeals about Washington, but I’m quite clueless. 🙂 I hope it turns out well for you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I would say you are quite clued in, actually!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great shot!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! I snapped it quickly with my phone as I was leaving the subway that day. The lighting and geometry were just so cool I had to capture it the best I could although i’d love to go back with a real camera.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Having a phone does afford us some quick photography moments. With camera sometimes it’s complicated!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s difficult to start over all the time and it can get really tiring to build new relationship. I can totally relate, even if my experience is different
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m sure you can relate! And you changed countries, too – even harder, I bet.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The US is so big that changing state must be like changing country in Europe, minus the language 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person